just a journal

after thought

2011-05-25T03:02:00.002+08:00

do not sully your honour, do not beg for second rate 'blessings'.

why do we sometimes ask for things that we know are not the best for us?

shortchanging what can be the most awesome in the future.

time to adjust around your work career, schedules and time to recuperate.

time to live the next part of 2011

想太多?

2011-05-09T02:55:00.001+08:00

虽然今日，暂时，只有等待，但是我偶尔也有想过。。你会愿意让我带给你幸福吗？最简单的问题也可能是最恐怖的问题。（还是别想太多。。约了你之后再打算吧！）

2011-03-14T05:27:00.002+08:00

ah, the bittersweet tinge of endings.

its all about..

2011-03-08T04:38:00.006+08:00

how hard will you fight when it comes down to crunch time? how far will you go with that glimmer of hope? how close will you stay when its needed most?

this has got to be the most thought provoking day i've had in a while. i watched Adjustment Bureau and i must say that it is one of the better shows i've seen this year. love and destiny, somehow its just stronger in this movie. maybe cause angels are agents that shift your path in life to where you're supposed to go? maybe its just identifying with seeing someone dance, sing and want to do exactly that the rest of your life. or maybe its just this week.. then i heard, and realized the full impact of Chris Medina's song. what are words if you really don't mean them when you say them? what are words when they're only for good times then they don't?

ever felt like you failed love? love is something that make people cringe. love warms the cold nights and empty hallways of your heart. love is a concept to some, necessity for many others. love makes us weak. love makes us strong. love makes people go crazy. love makes us human. love made us who we were. love defines us in more ways than one.

.. for them.
sometimes its just right to cry no matter what people think.

vox static

2011-02-16T05:06:00.003+08:00

some call incoherent fuzz, white noise. there was a horror movie once by that name if i remember correctly. one of those thriller style ones that go .. .. .. .BOOM!. .. . and lets your heart stall for about 3 seconds before adrenaline kicks in and you go, 'what in the world'??!

i expected something like that :/
but all i hear right now is static on the vox channels.
the eye of the storm. maybe i'm in the heart of it all.
lets enjoy the action before the director yells cut!

what a long time it has been (:

ending

2011-02-16T04:52:00.002+08:00

forlorn, the dark and gloomy,
struggle, shadow of hope laced with doubt.
how will the chapter end, but by the turn of pages.
incoherence, the lack of symmetry
daily dose of reality, underlying pain.
fight i did, still i do
the epilogue looms
over the rainbow.

love

2011-02-11T18:41:00.000+08:00

“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.” - 1 Corinthians 13:1-3

the necessity of love..

Alt-plan

2011-01-12T01:53:00.003+08:00

didn't make it for genting cause my phone alarm just didn't go off this morning. i refused to make it a defaulted day so i made my way to subang in all haste so that i didn't waste any more of nelson n yee wei's time. rayna of course needed her rest since she was still unwell. had some nice pan mee (yum!) with the guys (: then plans were arrowed to the last person to join the troupe, so we went to mid valley, an uncommon ground for those suba-ng ppl!

breakfast was quickly joined by a sushi lunch (yum!) at a new place after a short tour of the shops. bought tickets to meet the little Fockers. looked for some shoes an thought i should get one. and maybe a basketball. postponed and thought of what to buy. saw overpriced shoes at nike. greeted by the overwhelming smell of cat/dog/parrot/pet shop smell and got my nose numbed to it after 5 gruelling minutes. browsed MPH and found that Ultramarines book i was reading over the last year. read a little. went for a good laugh at the cinema. Byrnes! Byrnes! Byrnes! :D

at which i got half a box of popcorn (yum!), and upon exiting, we went to the Gardens to look see look see. Sony Ericsson, Nokia, Machines! then Borders it was! wasn't as well stocked as i hoped it would be for the books that i was browsing for- but keep us there till it was time to walk around again. Dinner at popeyes! (yum!) was a quiet meal but everyone seemed happy enough with their food. browsed some more shoes. decided budget would better afford a converse for casual and save some for a pair of bball kicks. low cost would do. i just need some feet protection and grip. and something light enough to make jump shots efficiently.

went back to PJ to visit YES students, sat through the last half of an interesting sharing, went for supper, ATE AGAIN!!!! round 5. man. (phew!) then sent them home, got back, read interesting comments, typed out something that would justify the last and final paragraph of this entry.

Long day. shutting down system, initiated :)

Potter

2011-01-03T02:30:00.000+08:00

Search my heart O God, make it ever true,
search my heart O Lord, may I be like You.
You are the potter, I am the clay..

Grad-itude

2010-12-22T04:04:00.002+08:00

It hasn't really sunk in yet me thinks. the grace.. the whoa. of it all. i know i don't deserve the grades from effort alone, since the mediocrity of my ways in academics are plain to see (; doing what i can, when i can (when i feel like it), i could have been roadkill for those last 2 papers.

yet i'm here, heading into another year of uncertainty with a backlog of blessings.
the perfect love of Christ.
Indescribable,
Incredible.

thank You for life,
Brother, Savior, King.

To Be.

2010-12-22T03:43:00.003+08:00

what would it be like, to be there,
grooving to the beat of the soul.
to have dodged, perfectly, the threat of danger;
to stare death, pain and sorrow in the face
and triumph, with song, dance and joy
forever.

through the thunder of rain
and whispers in the dark
wandering, lost, doubts that cry hark

everlasting, evermore will it resound.
to know eternity,
to grasp infinity,
to be, as one.

mavis

2010-12-22T02:53:00.003+08:00

I flexed my fingers as consciousness returned, the hazy mix of dream and reality lingering like the uneasy smell of smoke. it was one of those rare dreams, where I remember the people in them; the details of the highlights. interestingly, i almost never dream of the same person twice. ever. except for maybe... that would be a tale for another time.

It felt like a timer was counting down, that when i complete the quest, the old man would be revived from a stasis of the afterlife. time was ticking, and the chance i had was slowly and surely slipping away. Mavis was there, neutral and sympathetic, yet duty bound to fulfill the task of the final gatekeeper. all that i had on me was not enough, to pay the final debt... i tried my best to convert anything and everything i had on me, but i still knew i didn't have what was required.

the ending was blurred, void of sunsets and in fact, void of light.
but no matter what was around, in the end, it felt, alright.
it wasn't me who resolved it at the very end.

when the slumber faded,
and the light grew;
i wondered why,
and so i returned,
once more.

DDay -2

2010-11-17T19:31:00.003+08:00

absorption level: low
frustration level: high

busy? busy busy?

2010-11-08T15:10:00.003+08:00

Ps gave an intuitive sermon on saturday on the busyness of today's people. in a culture of speed, we busy ourselves with more things at a faster pace, till many of us use 'busy' as the reason/excuse to not go out of our way. or even be engrossed in less important, ignoble things.

of the many things that we were blessed with- this one i will carry for a long while more: a reminder that, of the blessings that you say are from God, they won't be drawing you away from God. (well, unless you take God's blessings and turn on him?)

that really made me think and reflect on the past and the past year for a while. on the surface, not really. nothing clear cut, or a gold mine that dropped on my car. (thus giving me the excuse to buy another one for my uncle then my dad then myself.) and i went on thinking, yeah, i'm cool with it rite jesus?

-then- i realized that i've had an all time low in 'consistent communication' for the past few years. the enthusiasm, devotions, prayers. it was sometimes, oh, what being prayed for by the pastor now. or intense moments when there is something to be prayed for. but the consistency? *thumbs down pffffft*

you see, things have gotten busier. and i got busier with them. some of us equate more work with more play: my lecturer in foundation said to me, work hard? play harder! and with the constraints of mental capacity and 24 hours a day, where's the time for God? shrinking, shrinking, and someday, maybe gone.

so are ye busy? BUSY busy? or just nah-i'm-ok-but-lazy-inconvenient-go-without-me-lar-busy.

today's TotD is from Joshua 24:15 and its a vivid reminder to myself. yeah. if not God? who else dei?

“But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.” (Joshua 24:15, NIV)

2010-10-25T17:31:00.001+08:00

this is some bad ass connection...

(away)

2010-10-02T01:56:00.003+08:00

didn't know there so much grief and anger from those years :|
guess it took tackling things head on, to know that it was even there?
caught me by surprise :O

enjoying my first holiday in a long, long time (:

maybe?

2010-08-25T16:56:00.004+08:00

maybe i'm just not ready for that (:

amidst all the words and expectations, i'm really glad for mum and dad who let me have my way in things. i hope i don't stop living that reality. spent some time with my bro and the dudes before he leaves for exams and internship on thursday. somehow, that day just made me reflect on the math of my days.

as usual my mind processes anything and everything that comes my way. (thus its very relaxing to shut off and chill in silence sometimes) and it didn't fail to remind me of what i'm doing with my life. the gigantic question that gets thrown and tossed about in more than one dinner conversation, school corridors, and mnemonic slots.

but then, most of us will never be able to run to our pace, when expectations outpace reality. but we probably shouldn't stop chasing. that would mean to stop running. or for some, jogging, striding, walking....

the last semester is the most challenging. its a bittersweet experience of challenge and resistance. of fights and falls and moments of glory. of what i can do, and what will be done. what will things be like, if you're gone?

as i wrote somewhere, effort for the sake of effort, is pointless.
hope keeps us going (:
you keep me going...?

save the last dance for me.

(thought without a topic)

2010-08-03T16:56:00.002+08:00

As i reach the crux of the story, i wondered along the way how things would play out in real life. certainly the occurrence of such events placed him in thought and in sight, and was his fortune and education to his natural advantage. the present concern and opinion most often supersedes ascribed possibilities. perhaps that is why faith is no simple thing also. then again, it may be the quack of insecurity. it would be wise then to resign it to ignorance.

..as it is, a reflective consideration of my intentions in alliance with the rare opportunity that arose were no match for the brevity of duty. the adage of two options afforded in life, what is easy, and what is right, comes to mind. then again, someone did say importance may sometimes be purchased too dearly.

terrified

2010-07-15T02:51:00.003+08:00

had a most terrible and awesome dream.
i had went to bed with a despairing dread (even if it was mitigated) that came with failed expectations. but i woke up with a new hope.

His mercies are new every morning?

everything just felt so much better. truth be told.
now to actually capitalize on that, and get to work on that last paper.
before anything else is to be done..

the 5G days taught me

2010-07-11T03:14:00.003+08:00

when o when will my heart bear it no more?

today i was reminded of first promises fulfilled. i never realized that the hopes of a 10? year old was so steadfastly remembered. i have no idea how i remembered that, nor do i remember the times before and after that. what i do feel is true...

is that it has been inexplicably fulfilled..
through a faith that i hope is growing through my family.

and it brings fear and trembling to thought when you see that you play a part.

first promises, when i committed to a life in the hands of the Almighty.. i gave up something normal for something more. trials and challenges, doubts and downs. what seemed like endless cycles of those. and results in what best i can do today.

for without Him, i am nothing, rings true to the tune.

as my CL n ACL takes leave to fulfill their obligations, i am given the responsibility to hold the line, and hold the line i will. i do suppose it will challenge me for so much more, more than just for the cell, but for my own challenges, as i look more to others than i am on solving 'issues'.

from victory to victory to victory. remind me it is not my cell; it is His cell.

in more ways than one, i can once more sense the reality, and the gravity of love. anything more, i hope to lay it all down to be sorted out, like everything else out of our hands :)

Fit not.

2010-07-01T00:35:00.002+08:00

in that order: rockwall climbing, hang gliding, bungee jumping, base jumping, skydiving. gotta get some fitness back though. so better slide that page aside and go back to swimming, steel, and the difficult thought of... running.

its just bad for my body type. swimming is much more easy on the joints, but running is heavier on the cardio. always felt like death gripped my heart and squeezed it every time i breathe under running.

else said, burn, baby, burn.

Vuvuzela Season!

2010-06-30T00:07:00.004+08:00

ISOML?!

i hope not, or rather, i guess the moral of the story is go with the heart, or something like that. cloak and dagger stuff. anyway, everyone's kinda outta the house today, so i had the chance to wake up early for a day at times square to catch up with veng. watched karate kid (dude, jaden smith ain't practicing no karate!!) and had some chinese at LG before i evaded the jam back here.

world cup season is heating up with the round of 16!! no tv here, so i guess following it online is the next best thing. Japan and Paraguay are the first teams i see going into extra time right as i type this. fight!! (shucks i might be missing the best part of this clash aka the penalties!)

so many things to plan out!
singapore, hang outs, documents to finalize, souls to search, things to invest in.

hope. that light in the darkness.
some things, you only tell God. and then someone.
i'm just thinking, its not you. sorry pal(s) :)

last chances

2010-06-23T15:34:00.000+08:00

the balkan warriors against the northern lions. hmmmm.
who books the flight later tonight? :D

they'll be some sad sad ppl tonight.

1 more for this week

2010-06-17T23:03:00.002+08:00

..and the battle reaches its peak, not when the swords cut within deathly inches, or the rain of arrows pour down. it is when a lull grips your heart and for the critical moment, you stop fighting. sometimes you don't lose because the opponent is stronger. sometimes you lose because you just think you've won, hands down, earned your right, deserved your keep. you forgot to keep your head held high, you stopped looking for the light.

the clock strikes 11, and i know i don't have much time left.
rest, just a little.
watch over me,
i will rise to march once more.
this last one,
for now.

huzzah!!

2010-06-17T00:10:00.004+08:00

two more to go!!

and pretty much know what i'm gonna spend my holidays on.

sg, fr, wk, lt!

and maybe a few more things. ahhhhh let me do well so i can make it for my college retreat!! help! assist me in this fight to focus, and i can but only do my best.

HUZZAH!!

a break, so to speak

2010-06-15T01:54:00.002+08:00

4 more chapters till the battle is waged.
its a tough fight.

meanwhile, i was impressed by advice/wisdom from one of the youth on his facebook shoutout, that you shouldn't get into a relationship unless you plan for marriage, or more than just for fun. some even commented that it was idiocity for posting it, at his age. i just had to encourage him otherwise.

maybe i'll post my thought about this later..

the idealism of youth, should never be lost, corrupted or discarded like the majority of the world's fantasies. some of it are at the heart of what is right with this world. how long have you stopped hoping in hope and started dwelling in despair?

as it is, now is not the time for this
but it was interesting.

now, for battle.

Fearless

2010-05-30T23:29:00.000+08:00

“In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?” - Psalm 56:4

plz, no more blue

2010-05-26T01:00:00.002+08:00

i finally got the Azzura 3000 armour with the one parts up!!
with lots and lots of help from my bro and reformats tho.
lets hope the investment is worth it.

would be a lot of heartache if any more driver incompatibilities gave it a bsod.
nasty.

a line from Hero

2010-05-21T00:28:00.003+08:00

If you've been fooling around physically with your girlfriend, let's face it, my friend. You've lost your way. You were created to run with God and to be His intimate ally in a great cosmic war, not to be some girl's intimate pet. You've sold out as a man.

1-2~

2010-05-20T22:35:00.002+08:00

ugh. my body aches.
but the pain will be nothing in comparison to relearning the lesson i thought i mastered.
and apparently faded with disuse.

back to the training grounds.

what awaits

2010-05-13T18:00:00.002+08:00

^{Rev 21:4} "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

is this sparta?

2010-05-05T11:57:00.003+08:00

i had a moment of thought. As orange lightning bathed the darkness with stark contrast, it went away as fast as it came. halfway down, and the foes fell one by one like chaff in the torrential evening downpour. morning broke with the whiz of cars down the highway, and for a moment there was nothing between me and glorious victory. as i landed on my feet, my body felt like dead weight cast in iron, wings torn and shield shattered.

yet there was something that kept me going, like a warm still light in the chaos of night. there was silence and the chatter of useless noise, but neither held the answer, the call, to keep on fighting, to the end.

it was almost time, but it was not the end yet.

glimpse..

2010-04-27T13:49:00.003+08:00

unbelievable.
it only lasted less than 10mins.
these glimpses are almost as cruel as they are intriguing.

trials to overcome,
challenges to face,
and lunch to decide on.

hmmmm :)

o.O

2010-04-21T14:28:00.002+08:00

我不知道我的草稿怎么会消失了!!!
好麻烦..

等候

2010-04-15T02:10:00.002+08:00

can't say i'm tired, since i haven't been on active duty for quite a while.
still. its the weird feeling that goes, there is something more than this :)

2010-04-11T21:52:00.002+08:00

Hermeneutics. Exegesis. Critical examination.
i think i'm gonna miss the interesting course :/

Friends, Lovers or Nothing

2010-04-06T01:47:00.002+08:00

Friends, Lovers or Nothing-
we'll never be anything in between, so give it up~

John Mayer

2010-04-06T00:43:00.002+08:00

sometimes you just gotta feel some emotion.
just the little boy that sits on the ledge,
talking to his father.
in a conversation no one else can hear.

proverbs 27

2010-04-03T13:52:00.001+08:00

¹⁵ A quarrelsome wife is like
a constant dripping on a rainy day;

¹⁶ restraining her is like restraining the wind
or grasping oil with the hand.

¹⁷ As iron sharpens iron,
so one man sharpens another.

¹⁸ He who tends a fig tree will eat its fruit,
and he who looks after his master will be honored.

²³ Be sure you know the condition of your flocks,
give careful attention to your herds;

²⁴ for riches do not endure forever,
and a crown is not secure for all generations.

Trying, Remembering

2010-04-03T03:49:00.002+08:00

ugh i can't keep to the ten days after all.
what an utter lack of discipline :P
really, Jesus was right, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.
makan-ed at char chan teng (which service has sadly deteriorated..)
n went with the guys at the new blitz.
slippery slope?

today was the first night of the Beloved Easter drama. and i think it went ok, which means tmr it will be even better since everyone will be eager to give it one last shot :) my closest friends wished me happy birthday, and for that i was glad- duh i'll remember you =P while most focused on the task at hand, which was also mine. He died so we could live!

so what does a quarter of a century beg to answer?
quarter life crisis anyone? but i seem to be free from the pain of most 25's. and inflicted with one of the most common. the pain most feel... is perhaps the dying of dreams and the crashcourse of reality taking hold of their lives. (i had my share, but it just doesn't seem so tragic now.)

the common pain? where do i go? why? what do i bring along? and who do i bring along or go with? things i don't usually ask myself on a common day since its either work at hand or rest the mind. i feel younger than 24. mayhaps its a unique trust, that's the source of my peace beyond my understanding.

oh wells, i'll never know.
soon i'll ride out into the winds without a care again.
erm... what time is it again Lord?
do remind the forgetful child :)

do you?

2010-04-01T04:16:00.001+08:00

Do you know This Man?

ze old com.

2010-04-01T03:35:00.002+08:00

reformatting, the stuff of restarts.
now i wonder if installing updates will cause everything to fall apart.
such is the caution of old age.
baby steps.
till i can let you go again :)

2010-03-29T02:00:00.002+08:00

everything is just quiet now. the single glow that illuminates the inside of the hall begins to wane. the whir of the fan at speed 3 and the light breeze through the balcony steadies the temperature to a cooling doze.

the indie music i just randomly tried dies into an end. it was nice, its just that, after a long day, sleep was nicer. my fingers go on a little while more as my eyelids fall halfway down the shutters to dim the single nightlight even more.

i'm typing even without looking now.
and i know that the light will fade.
and the darkness will fall.
now.

drama

2010-03-28T22:42:00.002+08:00

enjoyed YC's rendition of Shout of the King today- they did it quite well i think :) i listened through cold plagued ears and sniffing, but it was all good.

the day continued on with our full dress rehearsal for the Easter Drama, which we ironed out details and worked on the specifics to make the flow better. after 2 days of physical exertion (which includes tired muscles and a paintball 'bruise') my last role seems challenging enough after all that- but its probably the one that is the most fun (:

easter. it would have been 6 years to the baptism date.
when i pledged and took that step. it was the beginning of all things challenging.
yet it has led me to where i am today.

such drama.

2010-03-25T16:38:00.004+08:00

"... you were right. and i know that Life is greater than Death..
but Love was more than either.."

shout!

2010-03-24T02:40:00.002+08:00

on note:
James 1:12, Isaiah 59:2, Psalm 32, Psalm 66:18.

run the race, and knowing that sin can block our communication and fellowship with God.
beware thee the danger of compromise..

shout of the King!

i give you praise because you deserve it
i give you praise as the battle rages
shout! Oh the King is among us, God is here, in our praises!

ownage

2010-03-21T03:40:00.000+08:00

Spirytus- 96%?

threw it all away

2010-03-18T22:54:00.002+08:00

yep, i just threw 320k in texas hold em.
a few blinks.

oh wells, now i don't have to bother with it anymore (:
onwards and upwards.

those loading screens.

2010-03-16T15:50:00.002+08:00

For after all what is man in nature? A nothing in relation to infinity, all in relation to nothing, a central point between nothing and all and infinitely far from understanding either. -Blaise Pascal

what are we, without God?
ever thought of that?
both these guys just put it into perspective for some.

^{Isaiah 55:9}
As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.

haha and that's my between lessons reading in the resource room. will probably have another session in the evening after class and before heading back to PJ for practice. what a long long day. God you keep me going :)

idea lapse.

2010-03-16T02:13:00.002+08:00

2 am and the rain ain't falling.
here i am, at the crossroads once again.
i'm telling you i'm so confused,
just can't make up my mind.

...well, only work can save, try again or walk away...

(that's a backstreet boy song pun by the way)

GAH. why can't i start when i don't have a 100% picture of what is to be done?? such frustration. the perfectionist surfaces at the wrong times. and the procrastinator is pulling all the strings.

back to work.

such promises

2010-03-14T05:01:00.003+08:00

in the moments of uncertainty, sometimes we become afraid to act. sometimes i just choose to do other things. it will be the time to face up to it. there is a time for everything under the sun.

in thought..

i'll forever be too poor to pay back my Lord
but He promised me a future rich and true,
imperfect, limited, powerless, vulnerable.
yet protected, blessed, heard and loved.

King, Saviour, Brother.
which of you has a Lord like that?
declare it with pride!

crown Him now with many crowns,
He reigns victorious,
High and lifted up,
Jesus, Son of God,
Darling of Heaven,
Crucified,
Worthy is the Lamb.

Worthy is the lamb :)

PX!!

2010-03-09T20:04:00.003+08:00

and while i was writing the ever slow and laggy oasis site changed without me even knowing it. i've had a peaceful enough weekend and a day, but my heart went into a mini overdrive as i sought to confirm my much uncertain status.

and there it was! PX! (not DX ahh.) wooooohooooo! means, i did enough. and the rest was settled. thank you Lord. favour much much.

now, onwards to more and more work.
and the lame lan exam i can't take.

it ain't over till its over man!

a day out

2010-02-23T03:27:00.005+08:00

went hunting for monopoly in mid valley, just to find out that the promotion ended yesterday -.-" well, at least that part is done for friday :) gonna be a cool games event! but i might not even be around, since mum n dad are coming over. i guess i have my reunion later in the new years xD but i'm curious to hear Bob Kilpatrick over the weekend, and first day of uni begins 1st March. so many things at once... phew!
+EPF
+time table collection
+returning to grandma's
+family time
+errands

learnt a new game called lost cities n played risk, as well as caught the Book of Eli- a movie not everyone will like, but the joke between me n marwan was that it was an apocalyptic missionary movie. Denzel Washington had faster than you can blink moves, and if he was a character in L4D, he'd clean house! melee!

i wonder where else will you see a movie with these subtitles to take home and think about:

For we walk by faith, not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7)

!

2010-02-10T19:51:00.002+08:00

the worse time to fall sick and let weakness take over.
tired, without even doing anything productive.

shotgun to the energy vampires.

value

2010-02-04T22:08:00.001+08:00

It has been said that we live in a world that knows the cost of everything but the value of nothing. In this world of the “here and now,” however, followers of Christ are called to build our values around what lasts forever. To say it another way: The Effectiveness of a Believer Is Directly Proportional to That Believer’s Values. -Bill Crowder

2010-01-28T16:53:00.001+08:00

of coffee and a time :)

almost time

2010-01-26T00:35:00.003+08:00

piecing the pieces.. that's what i've been doing for much of the recent past. and finally i don't have to create some lame story just to try and get by.

i finally know what to honestly say.
who would have known?
now, its whether i can be as honest as i want to.
some stuff gets lost in translation, no?

ALEA IACTA EST.

:)

what are the chances eh?

2010-01-23T03:10:00.002+08:00

[Ask, Seek, Knock] "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." - Matthew 7:7-8

was what was talked about at the prayer meet.
2010 will be eventful indeed :)

excerpt.

2010-01-22T01:18:00.002+08:00

an excerpt, from the disadvantages of elite education, By William Deresiewicz

"....students from elite schools expect success, and expect it now. They have, by definition, never experienced anything else, and their sense of self has been built around their ability to succeed. The idea of not being successful terrifies them, disorients them, defeats them. They’ve been driven their whole lives by a fear of failure—often, in the first instance, by their parents’ fear of failure. The first time I blew a test, I walked out of the room feeling like I no longer knew who I was. The second time, it was easier; I had started to learn that failure isn’t the end of the world."

the whole article is uber long, but rather interesting.
from my experience, i find that he makes remarkable and real points throughout. i was paralyzed the first time i failed my math test. i never quite remember the second, third, or subsequent ones, but the first one was engraved mentally. today, though still driven by efficiency and expediency.. i can tell myself that achievement is not the end goal of my life.

because the end goal is so much more.
the only thing more important than telling that to those you support and care for?

believing in it.

ouch.

2010-01-21T23:35:00.002+08:00

maybe i should just say no more often.

would that really solve the issue?

double tap.

2010-01-21T23:32:00.000+08:00

talk about it. 10 bucks and a night i didn't expect.

phew.

2010-01-20T18:56:00.003+08:00

beati pauperes spiritu,
beati pacifici

freedom :)

2010-01-19T21:24:00.002+08:00

freedom ain't what you always think it is, it should be more than that :)

is what i put on a facebook shoutout. yeap. it ain't what you always think it is. more money, less rules, make-up-regulations-as-you-go-along kinda thing. its not new. you wanna get outta the house, stay out longer with your friends, do what you want, be with that girl you are dying for. same here, same here. but.

yes, the but.

its gonna be a huge mistake to rush things. freedom as you know it, should be much more. it should be an awesome abundance (that would even make what money you have be truly sufficient), you roaming free spirited with His blessing, and seeing providence day by day, even moment by moment. it'll be fresh everyday, making you appreciate what you have, loving the people that truly love you as well.

there's a part of it that you must endure.
there's a part where you need to submit to His will.
to His plan, not to harm you, but to give you a hope and a future.

sometimes, to gain true Freedom and Liberty, you gotta sacrifice what you think 'freedom' is :)

do you need to check in with Jesus?
i do.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. -Matthew 11:28 (NIV)

a tinge

2010-01-17T02:16:00.005+08:00

i just got back from the battlements of Malacca and straight in to the House. just like i did with singapore :) well, i didn't intend that, but i left my keys (all of them) when i left for my very short visit. odd, but it happened to be so.

did more connecting with old friends these past week or so than i have been doing for the entirety of 2009. my body is definitely feeling it right now (: i managed to stop by Jonker and go for some foodies (but not the popiah which i knew was different)- and did a mini walk around those parts, though not too much of it. but it was alright, for all intentions and purposes, that wasn't the point this time...

it was good to see an old friend again, but there is dismay to feel powerless to enact change. am i ambitious to say that i like to be able to do something for the better good of ppl, even ppl who think they are already in the better good? or otherwise make it seen that though they see something good, there is also good in others eyes. is that pride, that i sense disapproval in some? is it fair? that i try but get the magic missile from unexpected people? do i see a point, in doing certain things i do.. am i over the top? the etc.

yet i'm at peace, in a sense =P i'll never be able to please everyone, and i've tried.
does it kill my soul? maybe.
does it embitter me in a sullen, silent cacophony? maybe.
does it help me to sincerely reach for God through these challenges? i think so :)

and so i am healed, fractured spirit, refreshed with a subtle sweetness, time n time again, and off i go.
to one more lesson :)

9count

2010-01-12T13:43:00.003+08:00

on the last day of my trip, i'm left at home, facebooking and wondering what my plans are. i did a short search this morning on Curtin singapore. yeap, my parents, brother, church uncle have been asking me to check it out, hinting that i should return to the island state, to sights, sounds and many things that would make the senses tingle.

even as i type this, this count is 9 so far. what else could happen in the year to come? in contrast, its clear who wins the religious freedom and safety awards. (though in this case there are only 2 participants, even the more so) a part of me says run to higher ground. but another says this is the time.

our Singaporean brethren are praying. close as they are to our land, they too wish for civil peace and unity to maintain stability in our nation. even an old friend call me up and ask for my caution, whom i have not seen for a while. (and should visit)

'oh, they don't really offer econs here.'
'similiar prices but more ex lar.'
'not gonna be much different...'

those are perhaps excuses not to turn back...
excuses that let me remain and stay, just for a while longer
and may it be that way :)

the couch and the city

2010-01-10T02:49:00.003+08:00

the leather couch greets me once more, as do the roads.

this time, singapore!
the streets of are familiar, yet intrinsically new, a myriad of glass and steel, lights and all that bling-bling. you should check out Paragon now, fu-yoh! not to mention the new orchard mall and 313 (no idea why.), as well as Orchard Ion, which themes on lighting effects to 'evoke the senses'. for the latter, a friend mentioned that as you go higher up the floors, the price tags also numerically increase!! :P

i didn't get to see that much of the town, but the feel is that there is more people now. and not just in volume, but in variety. i hear different accents and languages and nationalities as i sit through the MRT and buses, the people watcher that i am. i hear different dialects and ways child converse with parent. and i learn, bit by bit.

though it is arguable that despite an interesting kaleidoscope of culture, everyone seems to be doing their own thing, oblivious to the outside unless it impedes on what -they- want to do individually, or are doing. (this is not about fairness of comparison.. it is.. merely a vibe, and a strong impression.)

it is more open here, more open than before. it made me wonder: through the years, how i was who i was, and who i am now. and who i am to be. no way is this journey at its end. it can only continue.

and i'm preparing for tomorrow's episode.
here i am, leather couch :)

Strife, a reminder.

2010-01-08T18:34:00.002+08:00

it felt odd to step back into the office again. not exactly odd-kinda odd, but the feel that i don't just walk around the building the same. the thought that this could change was, interesting. the past year was definitely, subtly, change-filled. And though my lifelong search continues (as with most people), i must admit that i feel a special kinship :)

the years and glimpses of the humanly divine?
or perhaps the way i was brought back. specifically.
maybe the sentiment that it is grounds to get up and gear up. (rawr!!)
where my work is hopefully pleasing, a worship that perhaps only i get...

but the point is, many homes, many places, many brethen, the same Lord.
to me, the analogy of the body applies not only to a congregation, but God's children. that has always been a strong conviction. the recent arson incidences is starting to pick up wind and fanning the furnace. some called it a mercury rising. perhaps it was inevitable then, that we are reminded that we are in a world where turmoil is as common as breakfast. with coffee.

sometimes its just more of a shock when it comes to your shores and reality knocks.
as of now, there's no point in speculation. we watch and wait, and make your stand.

but i do know one thing, that my Lord is on His throne.

2010

2010-01-06T17:56:00.002+08:00

what a way to end dec :)
and so much more to look forward to in 2010!

i wouldn't know what to expect, and i guess that'll make it all the more exciting.
Lord, as always, surprise me :D

hope i'm a better kid this year,
a better friend to be around.

help me hear, in the midst of all the sounds

before X

2009-12-23T03:17:00.003+08:00

wow many things to look forward to in 2010!! though 2009 may end with a tinge of sadness for some, i'm reminded that joy is found in the new mornings we will surely encounter. even if it means heartbreak or difficulty for now.. remember who looks after us eh?? :)

of the things to look forward to, IronMan 2! (and also avatar etc etc movie marathon?)
always supported that Marvel hero :p maybe its just the best of imagination with technology. just find it awesome cause i know the background. some others might not really like it but hey, to each his own. (what's not to like bout a totally cool high tech armored suit of warfare??? haha)

most of my stuff is packed :) but i still found it hard to detach myself totally from the net. swordmage saved me the boring moments. but as that book is ending, i'll try my bestest to keep up with the slow pace. honest!

if i don't get back here by then,
Merry Christmas, and a blessed time celebrating the new year!

19dec

2009-12-19T03:12:00.003+08:00

as my blog fades into a certain degree of obscurity, i'm more inclined to write rhetorical nonsense and maybe unfortunately, frustrate some of you :x but then again, i doubt any of you have got a dose of that recently :P been to busy to do any of that!

Christmas looms near, and so does everything that makes Dec such an interesting month. parties, dinners, celebrations, farewells, greetings, love, family. i miss home just a little more this year round, and i've already set my sights on doing some traveling to reconnect with some friends. how typical of me to attempt to settle everything before i go away for a while. taken things for granted for far too long i guess :) being on the move will do some good to the brain.

and maybe, for the heart ;)

which reminds me of all the 'rumors' that is being conjured of me lately. not much, since i don't talk much these days, but its just interesting to see all sorts of things coming up- none of it is true of course :p but interesting nonetheless?

as the year goes on, we continue to seek.
for things past, present, yet to come.
He holds all of that.
awesome right?
believe it :)

the 101

2009-12-11T01:40:00.002+08:00

i got something quite wrong all this while. i had placed my bet on the outcome of the direction, destiny, purpose, reason of serving. but it took me a while to come to grips with an important facet of any ministry. the why you serve?

would you serve if you do no get any direct benefits?

what would you do jase, if God took away what was 'important' to you now? that all you believed you had 'worked' for and towards was a delusional pile of dust, never to happen. knowing this in hindsight, would you still serve?

and i found out the why.. it is because He is Lord.
and it is my spiritual act of worship, hopefully pleasing to my King.

it was no longer words, but sorry Lord for making it something else other than You. i believe i would feel pain, but now i know the reason i serve.. it will strengthen me to make changes that might not be so... pleasant to people. because in one way or the other we are all stuck in our systems, ruled and governed by them. lets create some change when i can.

but above all else for tonight... thank you for setting the Serving 101 right.
you MUST know and live why you serve...

if not you might just labor in vain.

mornin'

2009-12-07T11:13:00.003+08:00

i woke up with an odd sense of foreboding. like a tiny stream of dread that spoiled the larger river of normality and rest. it probably had something to do with the dream. i was at someone's wedding i think. but it definitely wasn't mine :)

it wasn't all bad. one step closer to understanding.
yet so much more to be done that i'll put it aside as usual.

a few more errands to complete,
and loads more to prepare.

but for now..
hajime no ippo :)

-.-

2009-11-20T19:05:00.001+08:00

i feel like disconnecting!

and so i will! *switches off lights*

gdnite world. 40mins more pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase

before i see the colours at crunch time again.

a Nice day

2009-11-19T03:34:00.002+08:00

had a totally unproductive and uneventful day.... Nice!! :)

there are days when all the busy-ness seems never ending? dun give up, your day will come for rest. it just gives me more space to work out things, though slowly. (if i move at all).

rest.. here i come

PacMan

2009-11-17T18:18:00.006+08:00

sure you wanna stand in the ring and say just do it?

they call boxing the gentleman's sport. its true la!! some of you may go o.O and wooooot but in some ways, the outcome of the match is decided by pure discipline in training and a diligence in drawing out any talent, and standing strong when the going gets tough. real tough. the grueling regime, the endurance, the weight balance! (aha now you feel the pain!)

Right Hook....

this man is Manny "Pac-Man" Pacquiao (Right), Filipino, and new WBO welterweight champion after he defeated Miguel Cotto (Left).

.....Left Straight!!

what's more exciting than this match? perhaps a chance to see how the best boxer in asian history (who defeated Oscar De La Hoya and KO'ed Ricky Hatton), would fare against Floyd Mayweather Jr. aka classic difficult to handle dude, aka trash talk taunting kinda personality. but he's good? that's why it'll be a multi-million matchup!

what chu lookin' at?? (Floyd Mayweather Jr.)

i don't really follow boxing live (dun ask how long i haven't really watched tv), but this is one of those i might wanna take to a tv and see the best of the east vs the best of the west. who is the best pound for pound? as they say, it ain't over, till its over!

humbled

2009-11-09T14:23:00.002+08:00

pwnd. brkn.
banned myself from postin anythin on fb or twit.
sidetrack the pain, 3 more papers to go, within 2 days.
i'm kinda angry actually. n it spreads like an odd fireball.
then i get angry at ppl who made me angry, again.
things just come up n come out wrong.
just another bad headache.
so humbled.

because how do i go on, if not for who i believe who believes in me?
(yeah, i can't even share/twit/shoutout this, cause there's no time.)
discipline!
so humbled.
humbled.

Unashamed

2009-11-05T02:53:00.002+08:00

I have not much, to offer You.
Not near what You deserve, but still I come,
Because Your cross, has placed in me my worth.

Oh Christ my King, of sympathy,
Whose wounds secure my peace.
Your grace extends to call me friend.
Your mercy sets me free.

And I know I'm weak, I know I'm unworthy,
To call upon Your name.
But because of grace, because of Your mercy,
I stand here unashamed.

I can't explain this kind of love, I'm humbled and amazed,
That You'd come down, from heaven's heights,
And greet me face to face.

Here I am at Your feet,
In my brokenness, complete.

story

2009-11-02T15:59:00.002+08:00

“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.”- 1 Peter 2:9

trying to remember the parts, the here and there, the forgotten fragments and of course, the final delivery. such is a story, and its time to weave it from my memory before it fades. life is beautiful not because it is good. it is beautiful because God can turn your mourning into dancing, weave goodness out of what you see as bad and ugly.

you're already responsible to tell of His story.
but won't you watch, patiently, as He tells you yours?

and now i'm just telling a small part of that, and casting it in pen :)

remember remember

2009-10-31T01:07:00.003+08:00

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.” -Ephesians 2:8-9

M.R.GW can't get you where you really want to go ;)

2009-10-29T20:45:00.001+08:00

Spectacular achievement comes from unspectacular preparation. -John Maxwell's latest tweet!

halfway there!! showdown at sunrise- race to the finish at 5pm!!!!!

pro-cras-ti-nation

2009-10-29T02:48:00.004+08:00

we are tempted by it.
we love it.
we are guilty of it.
yep.
(psssssst dun get the wrong idea i'm talking about procrastination)

my worse nightmare now isn't 70 pages of marketing research that needs to be done by friday. its not even a shorter, more deadly difficult econometrics assignment due the same day which i'm reading through a TEXTBOOK to try and understand the variables. (confessions are a different category LOL)

i think my nightmare is that procrastination is fast catching up with me. together with a guilty life of contingency prayers, late nights, bad diets and last minute, compacted stress packages! my body is not taking it very well, nor is my mind or heart i guess.

procrastination is like that. why put a 'pro' there when you know there is no way you're the first to do anything AND neither is it positive!!!! its like the person who ever coined that word (i'm not gonna bother with checking the dictionary on this one) had a wicked sense of humor :p like laughing at you when you know that whoever is the subject is just putting everything till last??

so sluggards!
do some work. now.
time to be a man.
(or woman, whoever God, in His perfect will made you as you are k? hehe :D )

what have i done?

2009-10-28T02:54:00.001+08:00

one word strikes me clean, and that is..

undeserving.

will i ever be?

o.O

2009-10-27T21:20:00.002+08:00

... got a message that on this day, God wants him to know...

... that you cannot wait anymore.

The moment has finally come. You have no choice. You have to take that step now. Now. Not tomorrow, not in an hour, - Now!... If anyone else is reading this, they would be confused. But not you. You know exactly what we mean. Do it. Now.

o.O

22/10

2009-10-22T19:19:00.002+08:00

twitter was afloat, happy chats everyone had
who's doesn't have their face online these days?
turned down the volume, switched off the windows
it was a long day, only some quiet i wanted
they were all avenues, but it just didn't feel right
so i turned off things one by one
till all the brightness was gone
can i talk to you Lord
and let me hear, those stories you tell me
i got reminded, that i talked too much
and never sat down long enough to listen
i'm kind of lost, no one's a hearing.
but some don't get it, its more than just companionship
something's missing, and its hurting inside now
emotions? weakness? those i do not succumb
have i forgotten to stop, and really listen...
to You, and be found

? :)

2009-10-22T18:53:00.000+08:00

paulocoelho 22/10 Não use as experiências passadas para julgar o amor presente

Lion King Song

2009-10-19T23:52:00.003+08:00

its angeline's birthday, and she mentioned the lion king song on her shoutout so i thought i'd youtube it and hear the whole song since its been a while- and this clip outta the first lion king was just hilarious! timon and pumba (simba's heng tai's were in such a depressed state.)

work work work work is not working out. getting jittery.
can't shake it off, but i guess it'll all be clear out soon!

have to lar :x

what are the chances really.

2009-10-14T03:17:00.002+08:00

verse of the day:

“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”- Jeremiah 29:11

i'm gonna sleep with that verse in my heart and mind :)

swamped

2009-10-14T02:30:00.002+08:00

is the word for it. a thousand words and then none. gave a short thought to work, facebook, and where i am right now, and well, i think i need an overhaul of some sort.

even shopping has become an errand. GAH!!!
at least i caught a few movies at home.
got slightly more time to do some work.
slept in.

but here comes the other half of the week :)

oh help me Lord!

chillin'

2009-10-09T14:59:00.002+08:00

this is the purple i see through the resource room blinds :)
of course, this isn't the same view :p

but its peaceful enough ;)

grey?

2009-10-08T22:15:00.001+08:00

some things you don't forget. maybe its that moment where you realise something awesome, or find something cool or that joke that always manages to crack you up. i'm sure you have one of those right? memories have a way of being fuzzy after a while.. but i still remember when a good friend of mine in school gave me a dose of wisdom.

what do you decide when you're going to do something grey? (not clearly black or white, or in some cases, right or wrong.)

If it doesn't glorify God, don't do it.
don't click, think, or take a step further.

its a fair dose of wisdom.
let my heart be renewed every day Lord..
let it be right before you

so much work.

2009-10-07T15:51:00.000+08:00

time to go home.

THERE IS SO MUCH WORK TO CATCH UP ON!!

but not today lar. if not my brain is gonna overflow outta my skull :P

Retreat

2009-10-07T01:11:00.002+08:00

i saw a lot of happy faces from photos and replies :) it was all so worth it. seeing ppl i know touched, having the chance to explain and share a bit about God to Lc, and havin the assurance that God's gift remained in me :)

yes, that gift. a blessing and a responsibility.

on another note, i learned much from taking up the portfolio. i thought i would be doing too little but -whoa- i had another thing coming :p i can now see more.. in people and 'administrative' scope. i guess i learned more about being myself too :)

had my little holiday today. slept in on the off day (which i even forgot i had!) had lunch and played a few games with rick and jon. physically i'm more or less recovered! even had a good yumcha session with the guys.

tmr college begins, and half a challenging sem more. in a blink, one quarter of 2009 is over o_O
it should be the most interesting quarter yet!!
thank you Lord :)

White board!

2009-09-25T03:29:00.002+08:00

finally got something for short messages (:
felt so noob cause it took me a while just to cut and paste the html in the right place. getting real rusty there jase. hahaha!

last class tmr, and glad that internet can still function well, but boy its hard to get hold of the very unstable connection around here...

should be updating a bit more these days, but then again, i can be quite boring rite? hehe you never know :P

on my mind...

2009-09-24T18:41:00.002+08:00

are the things God showed me
the things God will show me
and recalling,
the things God has already given me.

the Gold is being refined,
the Iron is being sharpened,
the Mind is being renewed,
the Body is being strengthened,
and my Heart longs to know you..

i shall find out for sure some day :)

Silent Amazement

2009-09-24T18:18:00.002+08:00

i had finally settled into subang, after 2 weeks of intense schedules, overwhelming work and an exciting trip down south. each account is a story by itself, new discoveries that each quietly add to and inspire me to hold on, stand still and charge forward :)

just finished my last mid sem exam on econs. one that i actually properly for. i'll be doing well for that one hopefully :p

despite the hectic times, something awesome i realised.. that those timings/sequence of things going well and fitting into my 24, is like a silent, passive, but equally amazing blessing. its not just once, twice, or three times these past weeks that i've went to sleep or planned something, but find myself resting overtime (overslept)/apportioned time but 'overslept' to the exact right time, just enough rest, to continue the day's task. or apportioned something just to find that it went well. for a person particular about timing, its something that i'm attuned to, and thankful for ;)

eg1. i went to sleep when a presentation and assignment were due. scheduling myself to wake up 2 hours later, i had slept 5 hours instead, right up to enough time for me to drive to ss15, and shift to presentation mode. i have done enough presentations to know that if i slept less, i'd look MORE stoned, and worse, incoherent. the assignment i found out, could be delayed for small penalties (which, i gladly took)

eg.2 just yest i realised that i had scheduled myself to go to church (i had forgotten my classes end at 3.30, not at 1) but plan was cancelled cause no one would be in the office. studying up till 1, i knew i had to wake up by 8, but woke up by 9.30. just in time for the last tutorial class of the semester.

mind you, i set alarms for all these occasions and more.. but, these were the ways i had enough rest. and rest i needed from a long weekend :)

not to promote procrastination at all! but inspite of my shortcomings, i can see Grace working in this manner without what i described to andrew as 'fireworks' of the faith. oh and that- had a good talk with my housemate after my own discoveries at the johor retreat. quite a time!

i have my questions, and can only see limitations sometimes.
but my God is mighty to save (Zephaniah 3:17)
and that's a silent amazement i'll carry in the back of my mind and maybe in the cheer of my smile :)

Praise His name!

Regen

2009-09-17T23:59:00.003+08:00

when the busy days fade away.. i can think more of the future. at times it fills me with fear. thoughts of impossibility. BUT that is when i sense Hope. something amazing waiting. its not always easy, my eyes, they still see only me, alone... i'm still learning, to trust more in His faithfulness to me. He's always there. its just that at times, we're never here.

".....so when you don't know what to do, do what you know to do."

its not the time to give up yet, jase :)

there was one day last crazy week that i had given up, abandoned my confidence in finishing my workload. i prayed for rest, left it to God, and slept. i woke up at the right time to reach college, and enough rest to be presentable at my presentation. i woke up with a dream i can't remember. but i know that my mind was different than when i went to rest. i literally whined my way through work and escaped at every possible point. but when i got up that day... a singular thought crossed my mind:

time to man up and face up to your mistakes.

and that's where i knew i was renewed to carry on ;)

lesson

2009-09-07T02:20:00.002+08:00

the very thing that i wrestle against may be the very thing that God wants to use to bless me. -when heaven is silent

its gonna be an interesting one to finish..

thursdays are LONG

2009-09-03T19:25:00.002+08:00

when i think of the special time i have with God, i think its when i write.
its when i'm most critically open and genuinely frank.
its the highs and lows that i prefer to write about, cause what's there to an average day?
but even average days are becoming events :p

time to head back for that meeting..
i feel booked all the way till december.
i don't even want to check my calender to verify that LOLs!

just online

2009-08-27T18:42:00.002+08:00

hmmm... college is trying to block blogspot? they use something called sonicwall :D but yeah, i rarely blog and almost never defame anyways :x this marks almost ONE month of continued internetless-ness except here, trop city and the times where i go church.. BUT.. assignment due dates are rolling dangerously close, and after a day at col the last thing on my mind is... working on that subject which needs attention on (which, as of today, is every single one of em!)

i think my brainpower needs an upgrade for this sem. its just not happening right now... Chris and mei fong said this place was a bit drab. dark, rather, but.. i got astig lar. hahaha :p then again i can't check the site itself to lighten the place up.. too bad, dark it is xD

i just know that as i go back.. work has to be done and decisions on the house has to be made. gotta pack my stuff for the weekend regardless if i make it to the retreat or not. and hoping Alvin can join along. that would be booya!! cause i never planned to go.. till a few days ago. Kairos? dunno, just gonna continue to persevere..

and hang onto the hope, that expectation of 2009 ;)

16 of 7s!!

2009-08-19T12:21:00.003+08:00

FUOOOYH! i hope futsal will be mighty exciting this sat.
if everyone will be up to it, its gonna be knockout after knockout excitement!
not even sure if my 16teams of 7 will be approved. but trying to balance the teams till 3am... only Paul Washer's Sermon on Dating kinda beat that till 4am the previous day. well, he has some great points.. though, i wonder...

if i go to your father and ask him if i could court you, would he even understand??!

and of course, he also would have to know what to do. :)
interesting to note, in Eph6, we lock in combat, melee, hand to hand, high impact warfare with the principalities and evil forces in this world... BUT when it comes to youthful LUST, Paul says FLEE! what a contrast. now gotta get that!