a tinge

i just got back from the battlements of Malacca and straight in to the House. just like i did with singapore :) well, i didn't intend that, but i left my keys (all of them) when i left for my very short visit. odd, but it happened to be so.

did more connecting with old friends these past week or so than i have been doing for the entirety of 2009. my body is definitely feeling it right now (: i managed to stop by Jonker and go for some foodies (but not the popiah which i knew was different)- and did a mini walk around those parts, though not too much of it. but it was alright, for all intentions and purposes, that wasn't the point this time...

it was good to see an old friend again, but there is dismay to feel powerless to enact change. am i ambitious to say that i like to be able to do something for the better good of ppl, even ppl who think they are already in the better good? or otherwise make it seen that though they see something good, there is also good in others eyes. is that pride, that i sense disapproval in some? is it fair? that i try but get the magic missile from unexpected people? do i see a point, in doing certain things i do.. am i over the top? the etc.

yet i'm at peace, in a sense =P i'll never be able to please everyone, and i've tried.
does it kill my soul? maybe.
does it embitter me in a sullen, silent cacophony? maybe.
does it help me to sincerely reach for God through these challenges? i think so :)

and so i am healed, fractured spirit, refreshed with a subtle sweetness, time n time again, and off i go.
to one more lesson :)