Day 10-12 : a lot.
Humility, Armour of God, and Makeovers.
i did most of my journal in ink these few days, getting relevant things down and also the surprising load of nonsense that came with it. they didn't do a direct reference to the armour of God found in Ephesians 6- but its just one of those cool metaphors of essentials that every child and soldier of Christ needs to be geared with to do battle.
as i reflect on growth, i've definitely been moving along a line, though i have no idea in which direction or gradient the line is- or the nature of the curvature, etc. i can only hope and pray its in the right direction.. and well, i have a few signs- that i'm probably where i should be :)
but the unknown is space for fear and doubt, if you don't consistently have God shine the way, chances are you'll get lost a little somewhere.
speak of the devil, i encountered much resistance to continue on consistently with fasting for lent- and one thought after the other, the accidents i was involved in the past few months. the phobia is real and a mental drain. at times i felt invisible to people in ministry and the people i minister to. at times it just doesn't make good sense. but i found one reason to be sufficient, that i'm not doing this to just serve people.. and hopefully its just simple that i'm doing this for God, for His people. (or the number of No's would have been exponential?)
but i'm quickly hitting burnout. one lapse in mental concentration and i could fall again, make a mistake. i'm more easily agitated, and i no longer have (so much energy to continue maintaining) the cover of silence to hold my tongue, testing my ability to not just supress emotion but to dissipate it with Christ, much like a solvent needed to neutralize and transform caustic substances. i learn much :)
at some point, it should matter what people think of you. because at some point you should realise you are an ambassador of Christ and representative of the House. so it matters how you influence and carry yourself. a friend in uni today commented on Christian behaviour- reminding me how small our social networks are. and the lives of those outside the sanctuary.
even non-christians know that Christianity at least is a standard that bears goodness.
how more should we show and reinforce that.. that Christ did not die for nothing.
truly, let them who have eyes see!
do you need the Divine ver. Extreme Makeover?
i did most of my journal in ink these few days, getting relevant things down and also the surprising load of nonsense that came with it. they didn't do a direct reference to the armour of God found in Ephesians 6- but its just one of those cool metaphors of essentials that every child and soldier of Christ needs to be geared with to do battle.
as i reflect on growth, i've definitely been moving along a line, though i have no idea in which direction or gradient the line is- or the nature of the curvature, etc. i can only hope and pray its in the right direction.. and well, i have a few signs- that i'm probably where i should be :)
but the unknown is space for fear and doubt, if you don't consistently have God shine the way, chances are you'll get lost a little somewhere.
speak of the devil, i encountered much resistance to continue on consistently with fasting for lent- and one thought after the other, the accidents i was involved in the past few months. the phobia is real and a mental drain. at times i felt invisible to people in ministry and the people i minister to. at times it just doesn't make good sense. but i found one reason to be sufficient, that i'm not doing this to just serve people.. and hopefully its just simple that i'm doing this for God, for His people. (or the number of No's would have been exponential?)
but i'm quickly hitting burnout. one lapse in mental concentration and i could fall again, make a mistake. i'm more easily agitated, and i no longer have (so much energy to continue maintaining) the cover of silence to hold my tongue, testing my ability to not just supress emotion but to dissipate it with Christ, much like a solvent needed to neutralize and transform caustic substances. i learn much :)
at some point, it should matter what people think of you. because at some point you should realise you are an ambassador of Christ and representative of the House. so it matters how you influence and carry yourself. a friend in uni today commented on Christian behaviour- reminding me how small our social networks are. and the lives of those outside the sanctuary.
even non-christians know that Christianity at least is a standard that bears goodness.
how more should we show and reinforce that.. that Christ did not die for nothing.
truly, let them who have eyes see!
do you need the Divine ver. Extreme Makeover?
posted by Jsn at
4:42 PM
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