Day 14-17: updates

sometimes i wonder why i am the way i am. why i'm single track when i choose to go through with something, even though it may just be another 'heroically' foolish act. somewhere along the line i probably picked up ideals that stuck with me even though its fool hardy, ideals like chivalry, valor, honor, etc.. though they are scorned upon as unpractical or simply old.

trying to survive on these ideals alone will lead you to realise one thing: that the world is not like that at all. that's when you lose your natural smile. but i guess that's when you realise after genuine trials n tests, how priceless is the joy of the Lord.


doesn't mean you don't get tired and worn out though- the battles will continue! i can never tell if i can make it for the next day's activities (esp ones with responsibility) cause i'm just not sure if i have the physical strength to continue!! God's sustenance has been quite amazing :)


i laugh to myself sometimes and do that stupid grin i can't help making when i hear that small voice trying to kick me in the shin saying: haha you're down and out and spread thin and dying to give your heart out and can't do anything about that girl while there are half a dozen not pretty, but BEAUTIFUL women around you, you dolt.

yes, small voice, i hear you- but so does God on all who call on him?
its just my way of honouring Him and whoever is that future someone..


but it still sucks in a way. hahahaha.
God is teaching me something here.


or maybe i'm just rambling nonsense cause its a most unholy hour to be up.
a new week ahead...........................!