Day 19-23: random photographs

2am and the rain is NOT falling =(

its either the heat that keeps my voice sounding like kermit, or recovering from fever without enough rest. or BOTH. i plug into abingdon and block out all the sound outside my head- you can hardly hear anything now. i look through photos, random, friends, friend's friends. then i think n rejoin one of those open forum sessions with God in my head.

everyone seems to want to go somewhere and i feel left behind? doctors, engineers, execs. money money money. seem to have forgotten WHY i transfered. because i'm achievement focused? (because i said my 15 seconds of fame was my presidential speech? and that i mentioned getting my scholarship as my best year?) living the old glory days?

i wouldn't have the time to. enjoying myself too much on the side :)
but a part of me still wants to know if i can lead.
dominate the field. know what i'm doing. put my heart and soul into it.
doing it because i want to do it.


nothing much like it. when you know you're doing what you're supposed to do.



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one thing has been on my mind. how do i give what i promised now?
i've gotta make those calls.
overseas and the heaven hotline.

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sometimes i just want to say to heck with it.
but i don't have the heart, because i know it hurts.
and i bloody know how it feels.

bear with it, and do the right thing.
even if all of them made you invisible and can't see beyond.
to heck with selfishness, because you're better than that.
no. because better than that is what you're made for.

because you'll never walk alone.


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“Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.”- James 1:12