Dreams of July Past
If there ever was a time where i wish i had my psychology text on dreams, it'd be this week. (but i don't think frued will ever help me much) i've had my fair share of interesting, exciting, mysterious, unknown dreams passing through my days and nights, but last week really made me go o.O" is God trying to tell me something, or am i just seeing flashbacks and reflections of what i want to see happen in life?
a week ago, was youth leadership class, where ps.Julie was taking the class, talking about the parents support team and the importance of their involvement- it was an interesting class, and much was to be learnt, but the surprise, and stunner, came at the end of the class, where i was prayed for twice, and the second, was the shellshock.
"....i sense a broken heart."
jeng jeng jeng.
what?! i didn't hype myself up or was hyped or felt emotional, in fact i was solidly saying, yes, God, i'll stand for the cause! aouh! aouh! aouh!! never would i know 5 secs later, all my defenses just got smashed like tofu. my answer was here, and here was said to be, my broken heart. dreams that i had, dreams that were shattered will become reality.
to me, it was like wow. it went past pretense and taking things head on and sucking it up. this destroyed any composure i was so confidently holding. God is with me. and He will restore my dreams. it completely overwhelmed me. it wasn't something my mind made up (there was no more time or space for that) but something that was straight up, given. it was so powerful it broke me down, and i don't get much of that, in that manner :)
i have learnt though, to not jump to my own conclusions and choosing my own ending. just as much as this is my story, it is His as well....
and so, in contemplation of those words, i kept to myself, and dreamt in that time, a few personal dreams. revealing friendships that i sought after and people that i oddly, talked to and acknowledged on different-than-now terms. though in the last one i had, pastor was in it o.O and she was addressing us, and a few people were present. i remember hearing... "....are you ready?" (tone: for something new and an exciting journey?).
and then i woke up with the lingering anticipation and expectation.
God's promises are yes and amen, though His ways are higher than mine and His thoughts higher than mine, and i won't have exactly as my choosing of the story's progression, i'm heartened by the promise that He never leaves us nor forsakes us. though it may be that my overworked brain is concocting soothing/nonsensical images, i am heartened, because He finds me and lifts me up from the miry clay. you and i were so close to abandoning, yet He does not give up on us. from then i recall the dreams i had, awake and asleep, and siphon through my short journeys in blinks and swift steps.
so the thought came, just as it always does: which dream is coming to reality?
such excitement!
this is the ride of my life ;)
who knows?
such are my dreams of July past.
a week ago, was youth leadership class, where ps.Julie was taking the class, talking about the parents support team and the importance of their involvement- it was an interesting class, and much was to be learnt, but the surprise, and stunner, came at the end of the class, where i was prayed for twice, and the second, was the shellshock.
"....i sense a broken heart."
jeng jeng jeng.
what?! i didn't hype myself up or was hyped or felt emotional, in fact i was solidly saying, yes, God, i'll stand for the cause! aouh! aouh! aouh!! never would i know 5 secs later, all my defenses just got smashed like tofu. my answer was here, and here was said to be, my broken heart. dreams that i had, dreams that were shattered will become reality.
to me, it was like wow. it went past pretense and taking things head on and sucking it up. this destroyed any composure i was so confidently holding. God is with me. and He will restore my dreams. it completely overwhelmed me. it wasn't something my mind made up (there was no more time or space for that) but something that was straight up, given. it was so powerful it broke me down, and i don't get much of that, in that manner :)
i have learnt though, to not jump to my own conclusions and choosing my own ending. just as much as this is my story, it is His as well....
and so, in contemplation of those words, i kept to myself, and dreamt in that time, a few personal dreams. revealing friendships that i sought after and people that i oddly, talked to and acknowledged on different-than-now terms. though in the last one i had, pastor was in it o.O and she was addressing us, and a few people were present. i remember hearing... "....are you ready?" (tone: for something new and an exciting journey?).
and then i woke up with the lingering anticipation and expectation.
God's promises are yes and amen, though His ways are higher than mine and His thoughts higher than mine, and i won't have exactly as my choosing of the story's progression, i'm heartened by the promise that He never leaves us nor forsakes us. though it may be that my overworked brain is concocting soothing/nonsensical images, i am heartened, because He finds me and lifts me up from the miry clay. you and i were so close to abandoning, yet He does not give up on us. from then i recall the dreams i had, awake and asleep, and siphon through my short journeys in blinks and swift steps.
so the thought came, just as it always does: which dream is coming to reality?
such excitement!
this is the ride of my life ;)
who knows?
such are my dreams of July past.
posted by Jsn at
3:52 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home