slowcast
As I read back on previous entries I'm surprised at the unusual and sudden moments of emotions that were captured, and how they served as a reminder of emotions invoked. Its refreshing to see things I feel strongly about coming back in a staccato of memory.
Things feel lethargic at times now, the drudgery of doing sometimes too much to bear. No wonder I feel trapped sometimes, lost in the nothingness and inaction, the comfort zone of waiting and taking, waiting and taking. It should strike fear in my very heart that I cannot see very far ahead, a future of darkness cloaking the horizon, which is exactly the view from behind my quiet desk on some days. Sometimes I just don't know what to do anymore, really.
What can I possibly do but wait? the least of my non-existent virtues, it tears at me to sit and do nothing. Yet I do not know where to go, who to talk to, what to do. Where do I start to mitigate and manage some change? Where do I start the fight to change, and do I start the fight for change?
Its distressful really, when things with my father are not going that well. For me that is, since he is ever patient and is more than ready to talk. I have neglected the relationship for a while. will need some time on that. can't really move until I get moving and get down to speaking to him.
Exasperating. nothing moves, nothing budges.
Stoning the morning away.
Things feel lethargic at times now, the drudgery of doing sometimes too much to bear. No wonder I feel trapped sometimes, lost in the nothingness and inaction, the comfort zone of waiting and taking, waiting and taking. It should strike fear in my very heart that I cannot see very far ahead, a future of darkness cloaking the horizon, which is exactly the view from behind my quiet desk on some days. Sometimes I just don't know what to do anymore, really.
What can I possibly do but wait? the least of my non-existent virtues, it tears at me to sit and do nothing. Yet I do not know where to go, who to talk to, what to do. Where do I start to mitigate and manage some change? Where do I start the fight to change, and do I start the fight for change?
Its distressful really, when things with my father are not going that well. For me that is, since he is ever patient and is more than ready to talk. I have neglected the relationship for a while. will need some time on that. can't really move until I get moving and get down to speaking to him.
Exasperating. nothing moves, nothing budges.
Stoning the morning away.
posted by Jsn at
1:58 PM
0 Comments
