just online

hmmm... college is trying to block blogspot? they use something called sonicwall :D but yeah, i rarely blog and almost never defame anyways :x this marks almost ONE month of continued internetless-ness except here, trop city and the times where i go church.. BUT.. assignment due dates are rolling dangerously close, and after a day at col the last thing on my mind is... working on that subject which needs attention on (which, as of today, is every single one of em!)

i think my brainpower needs an upgrade for this sem. its just not happening right now... Chris and mei fong said this place was a bit drab. dark, rather, but.. i got astig lar. hahaha :p then again i can't check the site itself to lighten the place up.. too bad, dark it is xD

i just know that as i go back.. work has to be done and decisions on the house has to be made. gotta pack my stuff for the weekend regardless if i make it to the retreat or not. and hoping Alvin can join along. that would be booya!! cause i never planned to go.. till a few days ago. Kairos? dunno, just gonna continue to persevere..

and hang onto the hope, that expectation of 2009 ;)

16 of 7s!!

FUOOOYH! i hope futsal will be mighty exciting this sat.
if everyone will be up to it, its gonna be knockout after knockout excitement!
not even sure if my 16teams of 7 will be approved. but trying to balance the teams till 3am... only Paul Washer's Sermon on Dating kinda beat that till 4am the previous day. well, he has some great points.. though, i wonder...

if i go to your father and ask him if i could court you, would he even understand??!


and of course, he also would have to know what to do. :)
interesting to note, in Eph6, we lock in combat, melee, hand to hand, high impact warfare with the principalities and evil forces in this world... BUT when it comes to youthful LUST, Paul says FLEE! what a contrast. now gotta get that!

Sem2

aiks. this sem won't be as laid back as the last one (was self declared of course). new place, new subjects, new challenges. *phew*. out of the lot, comm business is the most straghtforward, bordering on.. ludicrously late? then.. marketing research, economic markets and intro to econometrics is just a whole new level. one by one they'd be quite interesting, but, snowball them together and throw in other commitments just for fun, a blindside KO might be coming my way.

what to do?
prepare for it lor. duh :P
easier said than done.
but hey ride on optimism mr realist :)

Facing Fears

i quite liked writing this. i haven't been doing any word play and trying to write down the simple fears that tend to creep up on me from time to time. coming to a point, a new season of strength and renewed vigor, it is humbling when the light fades and you have to rely on Him to go on without being able to do so yourself. i have always tried being honest with myself, but truth isn't pleasant at many junctures.

expectations? He has faith in you too. bear it peacekeeper.
purpose? mine seems to be waiting for now. hope i'm not too late. not too rushed. being just in time.. always gave me that unique adrenaline rush, the rightness of time. timing timing...



it feels quite empty sometimes.
memories fade and fires fizzle.
nothing left but a bold, cold drizzle.
have i not thought many paths a clear bright chance.
just to find its my enemy's deep dark dance.
i search, i find, i struggle and i seek.
for hope, for faith, for love, for more.
seeing the greatest Love and emptiness of soul.
everything in between, trying to be true.
Lord, i fall, i can't help but blame.
my lack, humanity, broken, in shame.
others have their call, to be glorious in battle
mine seems to be wait, this is not your way to settle,
hold your fist boy, you ain't on that list!
what can i do Lord, besides failing You.
its easy to ignore, again and again,
blindness culminating, ignorant building,
when i revel to gain just some more
failing miserably, in holiness to adore.
there is more steel now, than ever before.
You have revived me, like the miracles of lore
Oh i want to live by Your word,
not by the sword of man.
bound only to the clarion sound of heaven
to fight on Your side, forevermore.
no one calls me, but You.
i think, mayhaps i need something louder.
than that soft, gentle whisper..