terrified

had a most terrible and awesome dream.
i had went to bed with a despairing dread (even if it was mitigated) that came with failed expectations. but i woke up with a new hope.

His mercies are new every morning?

everything just felt so much better. truth be told.
now to actually capitalize on that, and get to work on that last paper.
before anything else is to be done..

the 5G days taught me

when o when will my heart bear it no more?


today i was reminded of first promises fulfilled. i never realized that the hopes of a 10? year old was so steadfastly remembered. i have no idea how i remembered that, nor do i remember the times before and after that. what i do feel is true...

is that it has been inexplicably fulfilled..
through a faith that i hope is growing through my family.

and it brings fear and trembling to thought when you see that you play a part.



first promises, when i committed to a life in the hands of the Almighty.. i gave up something normal for something more. trials and challenges, doubts and downs. what seemed like endless cycles of those. and results in what best i can do today.

for without Him, i am nothing, rings true to the tune.



as my CL n ACL takes leave to fulfill their obligations, i am given the responsibility to hold the line, and hold the line i will. i do suppose it will challenge me for so much more, more than just for the cell, but for my own challenges, as i look more to others than i am on solving 'issues'.

from victory to victory to victory. remind me it is not my cell; it is His cell.



in more ways than one, i can once more sense the reality, and the gravity of love. anything more, i hope to lay it all down to be sorted out, like everything else out of our hands :)

Fit not.

in that order: rockwall climbing, hang gliding, bungee jumping, base jumping, skydiving. gotta get some fitness back though. so better slide that page aside and go back to swimming, steel, and the difficult thought of... running.

its just bad for my body type. swimming is much more easy on the joints, but running is heavier on the cardio. always felt like death gripped my heart and squeezed it every time i breathe under running.

else said, burn, baby, burn.